broken

I want to first and for most apologize on this delayed blog. I didn't realize how slow the internet was here. And how limited my time would be to use it. I’m sorry guys I really do love and appreciate you. I will post blogs and email as much as I can.

As I reflect on the past two weeks I'm left speechless. God has taught me so much these past couple of days. But anyway let me tell you what has been happening. . .

This journey up to this point has been far different than past "mission trips". Living in a country you face a totally new set of challenges than you would by just visiting. I've been learning how to drive, shop, and how to live when there is a difference in two cultures. It has been fun but quite difficult at times. Right now there are eight guys living under one roof. There is myself, Dustin (from HPC in the states), Laybo, Karl, Philani , Sapewo, Musa, and NalaNala . The guys are awesome I really enjoy hanging out with them. They are many different ages I believe the youngest is about 14 and the oldest is around thirty. They all have a story and a testimony that would humble you. I’m looking forward to learning from them and sharing the next 11 months of my life with them.

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks with the Swazi interns. The internship is quite similar to the intern programs in the states. Just as my house mates have a story you should hear the 7 interns also have some crazy stories. The internship students are from three different countries The Congo, Zimbabwe, and Swaziland. The interns are hungry for more of God and they serve in any way Children’s Cup or HPC needs them to. Such as the other day all the interns, Dustin, and myself helped a team unload a huge ocean cargo container full of food for the kids in the care points. The cargo container was delayed many weeks due to a strike in Durban, South Africa. The care points were approaching the end of their supplies so it was good to unload and quickly get the supplies to those in need.

Today I broke. I witnessed something that I will forever remember and it brings a statistic to reality. Today I was asked to travel with the medical team to the care points to assist in medical exams. What I witnessed broke me. . . While at the first care point the nurses treated many typical cases such as ringworm, worms, diarrhea, coughing ect. Then this one child came in I honestly thought it was a little boy. After hearing what the teacher said I knew that it couldn’t be true. The teacher said, “She has sores in her vagina.” (the child was about 5) The nurse brought her to a side room and examined the sores. The nurse came back and said, “It’s hard to tell but there is a possibility she could be getting abused I’ll need to refer her to a hospital for further examinations.” I started asking many questions of course. Little did I know what I would witness at the following care point about 20 min down the road.

We made it to the next care point. There were kids everywhere absolutely everywhere at this care point. They were playing on the playground equipment, watering the plants in the garden, and some were just waiting for food. Then there was a line waiting to come to clinic. The clinic started just as the last one did same ol same ol. Then it was time to examine the last child. The last child was another suspected abuse victim. (this child was about 7 and there was evidence to believe she was) you could see it all over the child I truly believe that she was getting abused. I wasn’t the only one. The child looked like an abuse and scared to death puppy lost, scared, and jumpy. (I’m just trying to show you how she was acting) The staff had already tried to report it and obviously things haven’t changed. So they are going to try again. Before the child left the nurse prayed over her and then the nurse asked me to pray. For the first time in my life I didn’t know how to pray. I didn’t know what to say. God obliviously saw everything this child was going through. So I prayed a quick prayer over her in tears “God what do I say what can I say. This is your child. And I’m speechless. Be her protector and go home with her since we can not.”

I was broken, confused, and speechless. What do you say? What do you pray? On the bus ride home the nurse could tell I wasn’t ok. So we talked about all we just witnessed. I told her what I was thinking. I told her, “That was my first time I didn’t know how to pray. And I don’t know how to express what I feeling at this moment.” She said, “Brandon you’re feeling the way you’re supposed to feel. And the moment you don’t feel there is a problem. When I first got here and witness these very things I broke down. I broke down in the middle of a care point weeping. I wanted to know, “where was God in the middle of this injustice.” And God spoke to me and taught me to trust Him. Brandon you have to trust that God is the Father to the fatherless and He is the Hope to the hopeless weather we see it or not. He is all that He is weather we see it or not.” I believe all she said but I’m still broken and speechless.

Please pray for the people in Swaziland. And please pray that God will help me and strengthen me to do what He planned for me here.