giving

I have struggled when it comes to writing blogs I never know what to say and what not to say. Often times I start typing then I start back spacing because I’m worried that I’ll be misunderstood.  I never want to come across as rude or offensive however I do want to be real and some things just need to be said. When I blog I want people to experience what missions is really about I’m talking about sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly side of it. Anyone that really knows me knows that I have a heart to travel across the world to the broken and the desolate places and bring the hope that can only be found in the Gospel. I pray that by being transparent when it comes to missions that the Holy Spirit would move on the reader’s heart and compel him/her to action. For we ALL (not a single person excluded) have a responsibility to serve in missions (whether that be locally or globally). 

A little girl filled with joy at our bible club in a public school

Today I want to talk about what God has been doing and defiantly not finished doing in my heart and when it comes to giving. I pray that I won’t be misunderstood but living in Africa with white skin seems to have its advantages and its disadvantages.  Let me explain . . .

When I first arrived to Africa I was overwhelmed with all the need that I seemed to be amerced in. Being white must mean that you’re a magnet that draws all those in need to you. People come from everywhere and anywhere to explain their situation, their need, and you can do to help them.  Like I said I was overwhelmed what can I do? I’m just a guy that raised funds to come to Africa to help people.  Exactly, I came to help people and here are a bunch of people that need help now what am I going to do to help them?  My first reaction was to help who I can with what I have then after that then the rest will have to wait until I could receive more resources.

 I’ll never forget what the Lord spoke to me one day, “Brandon you got to stop trying to be everyone’s savior. For you have limits and can let people down. Brandon I don’t have limits and I never lack. I alone can carry such a burden. Stop carrying this burden on your own and give it to me. I’ve called you here to point people to ME and to be obedient to my voice for I’m always speaking but you’re not always listening. For I am an all powerful and loving Savior trust me and obey me.” After hearing such truth I quickly had to repent I didn’t see it before but I was trying to be a savior for these people.  I was trying to meet all their needs and make everything okay for these people. I believe God wants people to rely on Him and not the “white man” for everything that they need. 

What I’ve learned to do when (not if but when) I’m approached by someone in need is to listen to God’s voice and see what He is compelling me to do in that moment. Sometimes yes he wants me to give something in the moment to the person. In other times I don’t feel compelled to give anything. Now before you label me as a horrible missionary/Christian let me explain. Although God doesn’t lead me to give anything I am to do something. In a situation like this I often will say something along these lines, “I’m sorry man but I can’t give you anything today. However I don’t know if you believe in the God of the Bible but He is a loving father who loves to give great gifts to his people. Turn to Him, believe in Him, trust in Him, and I believe he is going to take care of all your needs. Let’s pray and ask God to help you in your need.”

Having fun at bible club!

If you’ve been a Christian for any period of time you’ll know God always won’t work the same way. So things change but the most important thing is for us to always be listening to the Lord and His leading. If we can remember to do that then we can never go wrong. 

Just this morning I had a little guy approach me asking for money for food. At times I want to evaluate whether the person in need is truly going to use this money for what he/she is asking it for. But it’s not my place to evaluate the heart and the intentions of the person. It is my place to respond in a manner that is Christ like and allow God to take care of searching the heart and the motives. Also its important for Christ followers to not just respond to needs but to our Father’s leading. Christ often will compel me to actually go buy the items that the person is asking. If they are asking for food I’ll walk into KFC and purchase a meal and deliver it to the person in need. Again I believe the most important thing for Christ followers is to listen to His voice and be obedient no matter how difficult, uncomfortable, or how high the price may be we must learn to trust Him. For His ways are far beyond our own. (Trust me I not trying to preach at anyone I’m currently walking and learning how to do these things as well) 

Recently I believe the Lord has begun to mess with my heart about leaving this very computer I’m typing on with some of the missionaries in Africa. This raises a million questions in me. What will I use when I get back to the states? How will I afford to buy I new one? Will I get another before I go to Thailand? If not how will I communicate with people back in the states? There are a million questions I can ask but all I hear answering back to me is this: Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. I believe the truth behind giving is God is testing and examining our heart. And to do that often times its giving till it hurts and strikes something in our hearts. Often times giving is a sacrifice and if it isn’t I question is it really a gift at all. I know one thing I can’t out give God. If He chooses to never give back what I gave away its still okay. Because In Him I already have all I need.

what's an expat?

Growing up in South Louisiana I’ve experienced my fair share of hurricanes. I remember one particular evening after a hurricane we lost our power. Out of boredom I lit a candle and pulled out a 1,000 piece puzzle. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever attempted to put together a 1,000 piece puzzle but I tell you the pieces are tiny and all the pieces look the same in the dim candle light. I remember getting extremely frustrated because I was confident, I was absolutely certain that a particular piece went where I was trying to put it.  It didn’t matter how I turned the puzzle piece it didn’t even matter if I flipped the piece around it just wouldn’t fit. Strange yes, but I got a feeling very soon I might be able to relate with that puzzle piece .  . .

Living on the “mission field” I’ve experienced many different things. I have a strong feeling; some would label my experiences as unpleasant and uncomfortable. But that’s not the case for me. I’ve grown to LOVE the different way of life here:

·         Crazy street side markets

·         Let’s just say I have to constantly remind myself I’m a Christian when I’m on the road overseas

o   Can only drive a few miles before hitting speed humps

o   Obnoxious pot holes

o   “Robots” (traffic lights) that never work

o   Kombi (taxi)drivers that drive all over the road

o   Very, very, very, confusing intersections

o   Cattle constantly standing/sleeping in the road

·         Getting lost just about everyday

·         Waking up in the middle of the night to a flooded house (happened quite often)

·         Living in “unsafe” areas

·         No air-conditioning (so when you open the widows every insect in Africa decides they want to come live with the you)

·         Exposed to interesting smells

·         Being white often means you’re approached for money

·         Often being misunderstood

·         Being fined for some really ridiculous things

Use your imagination and if it hasn’t happened to me directly I’m sure it has happened to some of my missionary friends.  The truth is not every day is easy, comfortable, and sure you miss the states from time to time but I wouldn’t exchange a crazy day overseas for a great day in the states for anything. I’ve grown to love serving overseas. I’ve grown to love the crazy driving and the crazy road side markets who often times have the most “interesting” venders. I’ve come to the place where I love it all. Missionary Palmer Chinchen has a word he uses to describe someone with such behavior. Here is an excerpt from his book True Religion:

“I’ve been using a word to describe the lives of people who leave their country to make home a far and place. This word describes an extraordinary life, a life of uncertainty, a life of exhilaration, a life worth living. The word is expatriate.

Expatriates live differently. Expats soak up the world in which they land. They don’t try to take home them. They absorb the smells. They soak up the uniqueness of the culture. 

Expatriates are resilient. They have resolve and learn to adapt and improvise. They expect little. They find guilty pleasure in luxuries as an air-conditioned restaurant, a hammock by the beach, an iced Coca-Cola… in a glass bottle.

The Sandals all in-clusive frequenter is not the expatriate. The get out of the tour bus and take pictures crowd is not the expatriate. The loud obnoxious guy in the hotel swimming pool is not the expatriate. Becoming the expatriate involves a new way of living, a new way of thinking, a new way of believing, a new way of dreaming. 

I’ve observed something true in practically all expats. Once they have tasted the haphazard, horn-honking, chickens everywhere, annoying venders, pungent-air, soggy-air, crazed taxi drivers, drunk policemen, disorienting, take-life-as-it-comes world away from home . . . they want more.

When expatriates return “home,” their souls shrivel. They cringe at chain anything. The suburbs and minivans and strip malls and fast food suck their spirits dry. They can’t wait to board the next plane to somewhere far away.”

When I read that excerpt from his book I thought, “Geeze, how does this guy know me? That’s exactly the way I feel!”  After experiencing all the crazy things I’ve experienced on the mission field I don’t have the attitude “get me out of here, but I want to experience more.” I found where my puzzle piece belongs and it fits perfectly, it’s a beautiful fit where it connects with its surroundings. I’m looking forward seeing what God’s purpose will be after returning “home”.  I know God has a purpose behind all that He does and He has a purpose for me returning. Who knows he could desire me to get married and come back. I mean there is a pretty incredible girl that I got my eyes on :-)